


"A Mournful Peace"

by LittleAngelCassie



Category: Supernatural
Genre: F/M, Gen, Megstiel - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-28
Updated: 2014-07-28
Packaged: 2018-02-10 19:52:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 898
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2037924
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LittleAngelCassie/pseuds/LittleAngelCassie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Set at the end of the episode "Goodbye Stranger".  This is how it should have ended.</p>
            </blockquote>





	"A Mournful Peace"

The guilt of abandoning those whiskey brown eyes overwhelms the angel, as he suffers the physical pain of a constricting chest with each sharp, short breath. The instant the archangel blade tore through her silky pale skin, Castiel felt it. Not the actual sensation of being stabbed, but the sudden loss of his beloved demon. The angel’s head swims in dizziness as he plummets to his knees scraping both hands when they hit the dark pavement. A cry escapes his mouth in utter fear, “Meg!”

He rises swiftly ready to turn back and defend her, but then the weight of the angel tablet reminds him that he does not have the choice. A few strides forward and recognition flows over him. There is no last image to see, he simply understands that she is dead. Shaking himself to clear his thoughts, Cas decides that it would be best to keep moving. The soldier in him takes over as he devises a plan to hide from heaven and hell.

In those first few hours he is able to distract himself with his ultimate mission; protect the tablet. However, once he finds himself traveling on a bus into the mountains he has no place for his thoughts to fall but upon his caretaker. Even the constant hum of God’s written word can’t drown out the breaking of his heart. He checks on the stone hiding in the black duffel bag, but it hasn’t moved. Castiel gazes out the window, watching the vibrant hues of the local trees. It is a lovely diversion.

He absent mindedly slips his hand into his coat pocket, and he feels the used gauze. An icy chill runs through his arm, as it dawns on him whose blood soiled the bandage. The excruciating chest pains return with a vengeance. He lifts the filthy white fabric to his face taking a fleeting whiff of the material. The sulfur scent still lingers, which to Castiel is devastating and intoxicating. The angel shuts his palm, enclosing his fingers around the only thing he has of her. 

He journeys for another hour, until the bus stops at a rest area. Marching into the woods that surround the parking lot, Castiel has a mournful focus. She was an integral part of his existence- for so many reasons. Of all the people cascading the gambit from heaven to hell, his stunning demon was the only true constant. She selflessly cared for him when he was weak, and followed him into battle simply on his word. She was loyal to a fault yet the blunder was not hers, but his in the end.

Castiel is lost in his memories of Meg as he hikes further and deeper into the dark woods. He pauses in a clearing encircled with wildflowers. Somewhere near by the angel can hear the buzz of a bees nest and it makes him chuckle out loud. Tossing the duffel to the side he hunkers down and starts digging a hole in the dirt with his bare hands. The soil is rocky and harsh on his vessels skin but the action is cleansing to him.

As soon as the chasm is deep enough, the angel breaks off his excavation. Castiel settles down, crossing his legs, and staring at the fruits of his labor. Removing the gauze from his pocket he brings it to his nose breathing in its aroma. The smell of sulfur mixed with the floral bouquet is his undoing. Tears swell in the angel’s eyes, as he tries to find peace in his suffering. 

A small voice from his darkest recess directs Cas to burn the fabric, giving her a proper last rites but the angel ignores it. He needs for there to be something of her in the world. Having observed human funerals in the past, Castiel is aware that he should say something but he is astray in grief for quite a while.

Then in a barely audible sound, “You were many things to me; a friend, a comrade in arms, a caretaker, and ……”

He struggles with the word to define that last title of their relationship. She was never his lover, girlfriend, or crush. Yet he is drawn to each label because she was all of them in one way or another. 

The sun begins to set behind the rise of trees that border her final resting place. The angel sits in silence admiring the colors as they play across the evening sky with yellows, pinks, and reds. The bloody bandage firmly held in his hand. 

After the last ray of dusk vanishes, Castiel returns his gaze to the bleak dirty grave. It seems fitting to leave her in the shadows of night, his dark thorny beauty. Exhaling deeply, he drops the precious material into the ground and covers it loosely. The angel takes his hands and pats down the dried earth, half expecting some magical spell to occur taking away all his pain and sorrow. Moments later, he is adrift in melancholy with no one to save him. 

He rises to his feet and turns to leave when a thought dashes into his mind. Glancing back at the tiny mound of soil he smiles, “You will always be my Meg. I must finish this….” A single tear falls to his cheek as her Clarence makes his final promise, “then I’ll follow you into the dark.”


End file.
